Looking back, my favorite memories are the ones that I was
the most embarrassed of at the time. From going outside to bring baby Jesus and
put him on top of the fireplace to singing Happy Birthday to him every year to
obliging Ong Noi and singing songs I had learned in Italian weeks before, I was
always kept on my toes what we would be doing next. At the time, I was always
slightly embarrassed or confused as to why we were doing all of these things,
but went with it because everyone else in the family was.
Those are the moments I always took for granted. When I
moved to New York for college and later to Chicago for work, I met more and
more people from broken families. Maybe their parents or grandparents were
divorced. Maybe there was a huge blow out and their aunts and uncles didn't
talk to each other. Maybe they simply weren't close. Whatever the case, I was
always amazed that what I took for granted wasn't the norm. You mean, you
didn't spend every holiday, every birthday, random occasions as a giant unit?
You didn't see your grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins every two weeks
while you were growing up? I was astonished - what had seemed a familial
obligation began to take on a new light.
Now that I'm older and farther away, I realize that if it
weren't for Ong Ba Noi, I never would have these memories. I wouldn't be able
to say to Van and Minh, "remember how we had to act out Nativity
scenes?" and laugh in fondness about it afterwards. The importance of
family is a trait that has carried through and been passed on among the
different generations. To keep a family of 8 kids, spouses and their grandkids
together is a feat that sounds insurmountable, and yet, that is what I was
fortunate enough to grow up with.
When I look back at those memories, there is one constant. I
remember that whether or not I was having fun at the time, whether or not I was
embarrassed or confused, Ong Noi was there - sitting peacefully in the back,
taking everything in. And why shouldn't he? If it weren't for him, who knows if
we would have even been under the same roof.
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